I once had an employee in my team when I was managing a large conference department who caused me frequent nightmares. Apart from being an alcoholic – for which, I felt genuinely sorry for him – he was also an obnoxious bully – which sort of killed any compassion. Despite numerous problems, suspensions, coaching sessions (complete waste of time) and daily arguments, he was impossible to get rid of – it was a highly unionised hotel and for some unknown reason he seemed to have the shop steward in his pocket. Finally, only after he physically attacked a customer was it possible to say goodbye to him. Despite the hassle he caused me, it turned out to be a good early-career experience because it taught me a thing or two about dealing with difficult people.

In terms of managing difficult people, I always start from the point of view that everyone deserves a chance – we all slip up now and again – but persistent underperformance, I never tolerate. Being 'difficult' of course can cover a multitude of sins, but I usually view it as someone who has some attitudinal problem which is impacting on their work performance for a sustained period. Everyone has minor deviations from the norm, but a 'difficult' person is a consistent pain in the you-know-what. In seeking to deal with individuals such as this, I always follow the following steps, generally if not necessarily in a one-after-the-other way:

Recognition

You must first draw their attention to the problem and make it clear that you will no longer tolerate it. You draw a line in the sand, so to speak. This is vital in terms of starting to make a break with the past; the individual in question needs to know that change is coming, whether they like it or not.

Acceptance

An important early step is to get the employee to accept that there is a problem and this can often be the most difficult part - as some individuals are either unaware of what they are doing, or more likely will attempt to deny it or blame it on someone else. But without an acceptance of the problem, this makes it significantly more difficult to get someone to change an aspect of their behaviour; if they don't see an issue in the first place, then (in their mind) why would they change?

Having said that, don't waste an inordinate amount of time on this phase either; if they refuse to be accountable then you must make it clear that there is a problem and that they need to resolve it.

Discussion

In terms of changing behaviour, some degree of discussion is always necessary because simply telling someone to get their act together doesn't usually work. You are prepared to be supportive here, to listen, to evaluate but at the same time you are not allowing yourself to be taken for a fool either. No woolly jumper style of management going on here.

Action

Based on what has been discussed, you will either agree what they need to change, or you may have to impose the route forward; you move from a consultative to directive style. Also, there may be action required on your behalf too, as valid issues may have arisen which are contributing to the problem and therefore require attention from you. It goes without saying that on occasion, it is the behaviour of the manager which is bringing out the poor performance in the individual.

Review

You should always ensure that you review their performance at defined intervals to ensure that they are addressing the problem. If on the next occasion they have failed to live up to their commitments, or to abide by what you were forced to impose, then you do not rehash the whole problem again. You have given them a chance, the necessary support and they haven't responded. Unless you failed to deliver on something you had committed, then they have eventually sealed their own destiny and you now move to applying whatever disciplinary process is relevant in your organisation.

As I said, this is not a step-by-step framework of course, but it should give you a general indication of how to better deal with any difficult team member. Essentially, you are starting with a coaching-style but if that doesn't work you shift to a more directive approach and ultimately a disciplinary-based solution. It is important to begin with the coaching, not only out of natural fairness, but once you reach the disciplinary route, the nature of the relationship changes and usually there is no way back because if nothing else, you have made up your mind that they no longer fit in the team.

Enda Larkin
HTC Consulting
+41 (0) 22 700 8675
HTC Consulting