I am currently at Yale University until Christmas and I have found a new 'friend' in New Haven.
An unwanted friend admittedly, but he's there nonetheless.
I met him at the gym. Sounds dodgy, I know, but it isn't.
He's one of those dudes who spends his time wandering around being 'helpful'; telling everyone that they are doing an exercise wrong, or that they should straighten their back when they lift a weight. He thinks he works there.
But he doesn't.
And he's intrusive. Long-winded. And always there.
No matter what changes I have made to my schedule for going to the gym, he always turns up at some point.

But, I am being mean. He's a nice guy all the same.
Harmless.
Annoying, but harmless.
Did I say nice?
I know I said annoying.

And he says funny stuff all the time.
Coach that is.
For starters, he calls me 'Mo' and I have no idea why. At this stage, it would take too long to get him out of the habit. So, I am Mo. The Irish Dude.

He coaches one of the local school football teams apparently. Not soccer, real football as he says. The man's game. I keep calling 'soccer' football just to annoy him. And it works. Makes us even. Well, to a point.
Anyway, I'd say he runs his team like the Marines because he's one of those hoop-and-holler sorts.
"Way to Go Dude" is one of his regular refrains at the gym when another muscle-head lifts a PB. That's personal best, by the way. I know these things now.
And he always smiles and says, "My momma could lift more than you." when he sees me lifting weights.
That's my favourite line. And, if his momma is even 1/10 his size, then he's probably right.
Funny and right.

Yet, sometimes he says things that stick in my mind. Like the other day when I asked him how the game had gone on the previous Saturday. He answered as follows...and I am obviously paraphrasing.

"We had a lousy stint at the office, lost 24-Zip. They bust my chops those kids."

Out of curiosity, I asked him how he dealt with them when they lost and he said something surprising - for its subtlety that is.

"Look, it's not about me screaming and shouting at the end of the day - although I do a bit of that 'cos that's what they expect. Or, at least their Dad's do. But, I'm a big believer in letting those boneheads (said in an endearing way) figure it out themselves. Deep down, they know what they did well, where things went wrong, who was to blame and so on and they can work out how to fix the things that need fixing. Sure, I need to lay down the law and often they get upset when I give it to them straight, but that at least tells me that they are committed to what we are trying to do as a team. It says they care enough to care."

I was surprised by the nuanced answer and, you know, in some ways it's the same in a work context, isn't it? We all need to raise our people to a level of commitment and motivation where they care enough to care...easier said than done though that may be.

Enda Larkin has over 25 years experience in the hotel industry having held a number

of senior management positions in Ireland, UK and the US. In 1994 he founded HTC Consulting, a Geneva based firm, which specialises in working with enterprises in hospitality and tourism. Since that time, he has led numerous consulting projects for public and private sector clients throughout Europe and the Middle East. He is author of Ready to Lead? (Pearson/Prentice Hall 2007), How to Run a Great Hotel (How to Books 2009), 'Quick Win' Leadership (Oak Tree Press 2010) and Journeys – Short Stories and Tall Tales for Managers which is due to be published in March 2012. He may be contacted via www.htc- consult.com or at [email protected]. Read his Blog at www.htc-consult.com/new/blog

Enda Larkin
HTC Consulting
+41 (0) 22 700 8675
HTC Consulting