Source: AETHOS Consulting Group

Viewed through the prism of leadership maturity, there's a difference among the terms: accessible, approachable, and relatable. Accessible is merely being responsive or reactive to others; approachable advances this idea and entails being welcoming to others; and relatable is being proactively supportive to others.

It's not about having close proximity to your team, but rather exhibiting a sincere attitude of support and kindness to the team. Building rapport with your teams is the goal of leadership. Rapport is the foundation for the building of trust, respect, and inspiration, all of which culminates in having influence with others. These basic ideas were discussed at a recent leadership retreat conducted by AETHOS, and one hotel company CEO summed it up the best, "You know good leaders by their habit of paying it forward."

Leadership is a difficult role that involves conflict, chaos, tensions and sometimes very awkward, heartbreaking and mind-numbing situations. This means that leaders must be willing and able to be bold, challenging, authoritative, and even forceful at times. Indeed, our psychometric research reveals that instances of political incorrectness and candid, direct language are hallmarks of effective leaders. But the "tough love" and "bold words and deeds" shown by leaders are motivated by a passionate drive for alignment, development, and excellence.

Passionate is the key word here. The leaders we studied as part of the research for our book, The Loneliness of Leadership, did not exhibit kindness only when it suited their interests, was politically expedient or expected because it was keeping in line with the holiday season. Rather, kindness was and is the currency of choice for interpersonal exchanges, because true leaders understand that servant leadership is judged by one's effectiveness in serving others and bringing them up personally and professionally. And really when you think about it, this sentiment of daily service and kindness is the essence of hospitality itself.

The physical tangible "product" elements of hotels, casinos, restaurants, cruise ships and entertainment venues can be physically beautiful, emotionally comfortable and intellectually captivating, but in the hospitality industry people are ultimately the product. Kindness, relatability, and hospitality will only be given to guests, if leaders first hold it as a core value and show it on a daily basis to the service providers themselves.

For more insight on the topic of solitude in leadership roles, read Keith Kefgen with James Houran, Ph.D.'s new book, The Loneliness of Leadership, based on three years of research and observations on CEOs in the field of hospitality visit: www.aethoscg.com/services/books or http://www.lulu.com/shop/keith-kefgen/loneliness-of-leadership-solitude-to-success/paperback/product-22612483.html to order your copy.

Keith Kefgen
Managing Director & CEO
+1 718 313 9149
AETHOS Consulting Group