A Few Celebrities - The Life of a Hotel Doctor
By Mike Oppenheim, MD
This was a sty, I explained, a small blocked gland. There was no treatment except hot compresses, but even if he did nothing it would go away in a week or so.
doctor had stuck a needle into an earlier sty, and he'd be grateful if I did the same. So I stuck a needle into it. He endured it stoically.
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"You wouldn't have any Oxycontin?" asked a guest. He was consulting me for a rash.
"I'm the doctor you call when you feel sick," I said. "For Oxycontin you need a differentsort of doctor. It's a bad idea to mix them up."
We parted on good terms. My refusal did not offend him; from his point of view therewas no harm in making the request.
It's wrong to divide celebrities into upstanding citizens with a few drug-addledexceptions. They are a cross-section. Many work hard at their careers but enjoy the occasional drug if it's available, and they move in circles where scoring requires only a modest effort.
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Many actors and singers insist on a vitamin injection before a performance. That vitaminis invariably B12 because of (don't jump to conclusions…) its color. Most drugs resemble water, but B12 is vivid red.
My B12 experience impresses me with how closely big league celebrities resembleroyalty. Arriving, I approach in stages – passing through rooms containing bodyguards, groupies, publicists, media, dressers. When I finally reach the room containing the celebrity and his intimates, he turns and drops his pants (women hold out an arm). I give the injection and depart. No one makes a move to pay, but I can expect a lesser person to come forward as I retrace my steps.
These requests don't arrive often, so I wonder who owns the franchise on celebrity B12shots in Los Angeles. It's a gold mine. I also carry a vial of B complex – half a dozen B vitamins not including B12. It's colorless, and I can't remember anyone asking for it.