Bedbug Calls - The Life of a Hotel Doctor

"All insect bites look the same," I explained.

Bedbug calls are tricky. Patients blame the hotel, so they are reluctant to pay the doctor. Confronted by an angry guest, hotels ask my help and often offer to pay my fee. I come but refuse to take their money. The hotel will probably comp the guest's room, and I don't want to add to their expense and hassle.

Naturally, I hope that a grateful hotel will remember. This doesn't always work, but I drove off in a good mood. I love nearby hotels, and the Westwood Comstock, which rarely calls, was three miles away and very exclusive.

Sometimes guests show me a rash that is obviously not insect bites. Sometimes I see bites confined to the legs, meaning the guest acquired them while erect, perhaps at the beach. In this case, there were many on her upper body, so I couldn't deny the possibility of bedbugs. As usual, the bugs themselves were nowhere in evidence.

I delivered my opinion, assured her that bedbugs do not carry disease, and handed over a free tube of cortisone cream. Everyone seemed pleased including the general manager who thanked me for my quick response and seemed impressed when I waved off his offer to pay. Now I must wait.