You are Running from the Wrong Discomfort.

Last newsletter, we sat with the idea of misalignment. The realization that something no longer fits, even when everything on the surface still works.

This week goes a step further. Kind of an Edition #15 Part 2...

We tend to label discomfort very quickly. Something feels off, heavy, so frustrating, and the instinct is to move away from it. Change the environment. Adjust the situation. Look for something that feels better.

That reaction is understandable, and often time warranted. It is also where many leaders get it wrong. Not all discomfort means something is broken. Some of it is the signal that you are exactly where you NEED to be. The environment is demanding more from you. The standard is higher than what you are used to. The expectation forces you to stretch in ways that does not feel natural yet.

That kind of discomfort does not push you away from who you are. IT PULLS YOU FORWARD.

The real challenge is knowing that difference.

Let’s talk about that.

Amuse-Bouche: “what’s on my mind…?”

Franck-ly Speaking… growth rarely feels right while it is happening.

What’s on my mind is how often discomfort gets misunderstood when it is actually part of the responsibility.

In hospitality, stepping into an operation that is not at the level it should be is not unusual. It is kind of expected. You walk into a hotel where the arrival lacks presence, where the handoff between departments feels loose, where rooms are turned but not truly prepared. You step into a dining room where the sequence of service drifts, where the pass allows plates that are close enough, where the room moves but does not feel held. You do not need a report to see it. You feel it immediately. That feeling is discomfort.

It comes from knowing what the standard should be and seeing the gap. That gap is not a signal to leave. It is the actual work.

You take ownership of it the moment you decide to stay. The moment you decide this is a problem. An opportunity.

You walk the floor and you correct a guest interaction that feels rushed. You bring it back to presence. You step onto a room that was signed off and reset the detail that was missed, then you do it again on the next one. You stand at the pass and stop a plate that does not meet the level, you reset it, explain it, and the next one still needs your eye. You watch a server skip a step and you bring them back to the sequence, then you repeat it on the next table.

That repetition is where discomfort lives. And it can be constant.

It does not feel efficient. It does not feel smooth. It asks for consistency without immediate payoff. It asks you to hold the same line across a full shift, across a full week, across a full season. It tests your patience and your discipline more than your knowledge.

I have been in those environments. The kind where the standard is not yet implemented and every step forward requires so much attention. The goal is not to correct something once and move on. You correct it until it becomes part of how the team operates. EVERY. DAY. You repeat the same conversations, the same resets, the same expectations, until the operation starts reflecting it without you having to force it.

That is the most uncomfortable work. But it builds something.

It builds consistency into the team. It builds confidence into the execution. It builds a level that did not exist before you stepped into it. That is one form of discomfort.

There is another one that sits in the same place and feels similar at first.

You walk the same operation. You see the same gaps. You register them clearly. You know exactly what needs to be done. You decide not to engage it. The shift is heavy. The team is stretched. The moment feels too loaded to stop. You move forward, the service continues, the day gets completed.

That decision repeats. Until you do something about it. After all, are you the leader?

You adjust to what is in front of you instead of shaping it. You work around the gaps instead of closing them. The operation continues functioning, and the discomfort shifts. It is no longer coming from the work. It is coming from knowing the work is not being done.

Believe that discomfort does not build anything. It changes you.

It lowers the level at which you supposed to operate. It reshapes what you accept. It creates distance between what you know and what you actually reinforce. Both, actually exist in the same environment.

One asks you to stay in the repetition long enough to build something that lasts. The other asks you how long you are willing to keep adjusting to something you know should be different.

Reading that difference is part of leadership. Because discomfort is not something to avoid.

It is something to UNDERSTAND before you decide what to do with it. So, what will you decide?

Table for one

A question worth sitting with…

Are you holding your standard… or slowly BECOMING the environment around you?

Take a real look at your days. You walk into the operation, and you feel it immediately. The team is not "there". They are but they are not. Some are undertrained, some inconsistent, some lazy, some already discouraged. It shows in how they move, how they speak, how they execute. The energy in the room is not where it should be, and you see it clearly.

That environment can drive you nuts. It pulls on your patience, your expectations, and how much you are willing to engage. The comment that lowers the tone, the attitude that says, “this is just how it is,” the repeated behavior that has not been corrected long enough to change, the quiet resistance when you try to raise the level; it is all there, and you feel it.

Then something more subtle happens. You begin adjusting. Not in a way that feels obvious, in a way that feels practical. You move faster through certain moments, you let a detail go because you have already addressed it before, you shorten a conversation because you are not sure it will land, you protect your energy by engaging less than you used to. It does not feel like giving in. It feels like managing the day.

That is where the shift lives.

The environment has not changed yet. The gaps are still there. The only thing moving is how you respond to it, and over time that response becomes your new normal. You start operating closer to what the environment gives you instead of what you know it should be. Leading in those conditions is never about waiting for the right team, the right energy, or the right moment. It is about bringing consistency when nothing around you gives it back yet. It is about holding the same line on the tenth repetition as you did on the first. It is about refusing to let the noise shape what should be YOUR standard.

Because the moment you start feeding off that noise, it spreads through you faster than you realize. It changes your tone, your presence, and the way your team experiences you. The environment you so are trying to elevate starts DEFINING YOU INSTEAD.

Sit with that honestly. and I know it is very uncomfortable!

Are you still leading the environment…or has it started leading you?

Chef Recommends...

For this edition, I am recommending Relentless, By Tim Grover

Tim Grover's perspective is simple and demanding at the same time: your standard does not move based on who you are surrounded by. It does not adjust because the team is not there yet. It does not fluctuate because the energy in the room is off. It stays where it is, and you decide whether you are willing to operate at that level every single time.

That is where this connects.

When you are in an environment where people are inconsistent, unequipped, or simply not showing up the way they should, the easiest thing to do is adjust. You engage less, you correct less, you match the pace of the room just enough to get through the day without friction. It feels efficient. It feels controlled. It also lowers you.

His mindset removes that option completely. There is no negotiation with your own standard. There is no dependency on external energy. There is only the work, repeated at the level you know is right, whether the room matches you or not. That is the discipline. What stands out in this book is how clear the expectation is. You do not wait for the environment to rise. You do not need the team to give you the right conditions. You bring the same intensity, the same focus, the same execution, regardless of what is happening around you.

That is not easy in hospitality. You deal with different people, different attitudes, different levels of commitment every single day. The temptation to adjust is constant. The temptation to take the easier path, just to keep things moving, shows up every shift.

This book brings you back to one thing. You decide the level. Not the team. Not the environment. Not the pressure of the day.

If this edition hit you, this is worth your time. Because staying relentless in a room that is not there yet is what separates leaders from everyone else.

Franck-ly… nothing around you changes your level unless you allow it to.

See you at work,

Franck.