Goodbye, Gatekeeping: How Millennials and Gen Z are Killing Stiff Luxury

Old luxury is steeped in tradition and ritual which operationally boils down to training, rigid hierarchy and piles of meticulous SOP’s. Modern consumers: millennials and gen z are famously casual in approach while being obsessively motivated by experience and quality. They value authenticity over ceremony, personality over Polish and connection over deference.

As a result, luxury brands across hospitality, food & beverage, travel and events are confronting a critical question: how do you preserve the standards that define luxury while adapting to the expectations of a generation that rejects gatekeeping?

I spoke with executives in various sectors across the industry about how their businesses are bridging this gap and gained some insight into how luxury brands are adjusting their approach to meet the needs expected by modern consumers.

Social media consumption seems to be the root of how change is being engaged from a consumer perspective, Laura Coughlin a Millennial Dubai based food journalist and culinary influencer opined “social media has been a big driver of this shift. We still value luxury, but ultimately, we’re looking for authenticity over formality. Instead of polished, untouchable branding and service, Gen-Zers and millennials are drawn to real stories, personalised experiences, and brands that feel approachable. In real terms that means more BTS content, creator partnerships, and genuine engagement from brands rather than purely aspirational advertising. It’s about being more human, rather than being less “premium”.”

Coughlin’s observation highlights a crucial distinction. Younger consumers are not abandoning premium experiences; they simply expect those experiences to feel genuine rather than performative. However, while consumers may favour informality, luxury operators face a more complex challenge: how do you preserve the standards that define luxury without appearing outdated or inaccessible?

Sebastian Knoerr Director of rooms of London’s Sloane Club a premium members club takes an approach which "… starts from a different diagnosis than most people use for this. I do not think younger members are rejecting standards on principle, I think they arrived with less practice holding them, because two in three young people now say they struggle to hold a conversation with someone outside their own age group, and formality is a skill you rehearse face to face, not an instinct. So, my answer is not to lower the bar for them and hope legacy members do not notice, it is to teach the standard on purpose, explicitly, rather than trust it will be absorbed by osmosis the way it once was for someone who grew up around adults instead of a screen. The threshold, the discretion, the care, all of that stays exactly where it was. What changes is the script attached to it. A 25-year-old and a member who joined in 1985 both want to feel correctly looked after, they simply recognise it in different tones of voice. Keep the competence identical and let the delivery flex, and neither end feels alienated."

Knoerr’s perspective reframes the discussion. Rather than viewing younger consumers as rejecting etiquette, he suggests many have simply had fewer opportunities to develop familiarity with formal environments. In this view, luxury’s competitive advantage remains its expertise and service standards, but success increasingly depends on translating those standards into a language that resonates with contemporary audiences.

This shift is perhaps most visible in food and beverage, where storytelling has become every bit as important as technical execution. Kelly Licciardi, Vice President at Restaurant Associates a leading premium hospitality and dining provider, sees authenticity and cultural relevance emerging as the new markers of luxury: “At Restaurant Associates, we’ve watched the definition of luxury shift right in front of us. Tatiana by Kwame Onwuachi is a perfect example. Chef Kwame isn’t doing tasting-menu theater, he’s telling a personal story through food, weaving Afro-Caribbean and West African flavors into a dining room that feels like a destination, not a formality. That’s what today’s affluent diner wants: substance and story over stiffness. Millennials and Gen Z aren’t rejecting excellence, they’re rejecting artifice. Give them something authentic and shareable, and they’ll seek it out; no scripted service required.”

Licciardi’s remarks reinforce a broader trend visible across hospitality. Today’s affluent consumers still seek quality, craftsmanship and exclusivity, but they increasingly want those attributes to be attached to a compelling story or meaningful connection rather than ceremonial formality alone.

The effect extends beyond restaurants and into the events sector, where client expectations have undergone a similar transformation. Neil Brooke, Head of Food and Beverage at Regent’s University London, my home institution which also serves as a premium central London events venue has witnessed the evolution first-hand: “We’ve seen the impact at Regent’s of Millennials and Gen Z shifting corporate events away from stiff formality and scripted service towards experiences that feel more relaxed, social and participative. They’re less interested in formal gatherings or exclusivity, and more drawn to authentic food concepts, shared dining, interactive games and activities that create genuine connections. At Regent’s we now have far fewer enquiries for fine dining dinners and more events choosing barbeques and international street food, coupled with outdoor activities and competitive socialising. For these generations, the most memorable events aren’t defined by etiquette, they’re defined by engagement, authenticity and fun.”

Taken together, these perspectives suggest that modern luxury is not experiencing a crisis of relevance but a period of adaptation. The fundamentals remain unchanged: excellence, attention to detail and exceptional service still matter enormously. What has changed is the packaging. For Millennials and Gen Z, luxury increasingly derives its value from authenticity, participation and personal connection. The brands most likely to thrive will be those that preserve the standards of traditional luxury while presenting them in ways that feel human, accessible and culturally relevant.

So where does that leave luxury operators? The answer appears to be that the standards themselves are not changing, but the mechanisms used to deliver them are. It seems that rather than delivering prescriptive experiences that are curated to an excessive degree the industry needs to focus on creating a dialogue with guests that aligns with their desires. This requires a different approach from a human scale. A rigid SOP is better replaced with a looser set of guidelines in which a staff members can create an experience in which their personality flows through creating accessible and authentic experience for guests.

Rather than being bastions of perfection, successful operators now need to be authentic, warm and engaging within a set of standards that both reflect their brand as well as entice guests into enjoying the exclusivity and the grace of the experiences provided. Rather than simply providing a service luxury operations staff are embarking on a journey with guests as an active participant rather than a prop. From a training perspective, this offers a unique challenge, whereas an SOP that is rigidly followed can be audited quickly and succinctly. A feel is something that’s much harder to quantify.

The irony is that with this seeming loosening of standards, luxury may be becoming more demanding, not less. Delivering a flawless service sequence is comparatively straightforward when every action is prescribed. Delivering a memorable experience driven by authenticity, personal connection and emotional intelligence requires a far higher degree of judgement from front-line teams. The haughty maître d’, august concierge and patrician doorman replaced with warm authentic service professionals who bring their personality to the forefront to create a genuinely warm experience within a brand ecosystem.

It seems the gatekeeping of luxury needs to be removed not only from experience seekers but from hiring practices as well. This shift definitively changes what luxury employers should be hiring for. Traditional luxury environments have historically prioritised teachable skills: service sequences, etiquette, product knowledge, grooming standards and operational precision. While these competencies remain essential, they are increasingly becoming table stakes rather than differentiators. The qualities that separate exceptional hospitality professionals today are often traits rather than skills: empathy, curiosity, emotional intelligence, warmth and the confidence to adapt to the individual in front of them.

Skills can be taught through training programmes and SOPs; authentic human connection is far more difficult to instil. As luxury becomes less scripted and more conversational, operators may find themselves placing greater value on character than credentials, recruiting people for who they are as much as for what they know.

A case study of this change can be considered in the world of wine service. The traditional image of the sommelier was often that of a gatekeeper: a figure whose encyclopaedic knowledge of obscure appellations, vintages and producers established authority, but could also create a sense of intimidation. Guests unfamiliar with the language of fine wine frequently found themselves navigating an experience that felt more like an examination than a pleasure. Knowledge was power, and that power was sometimes wielded in a way that reinforced the exclusivity of the experience.

Today’s luxury consumer demands a different approach. The modern "wine wonk" still possesses the same depth of expertise but increasingly succeeds by translating that knowledge into engaging conversation rather than demonstrations of superiority. Guests are less interested in being impressed by expertise than they are in having expertise used to enhance their enjoyment. A sommelier who can explain a wine’s story, connect it to a guest’s tastes and create a sense of discovery often delivers more value than one who simply recites credentials and tasting notes.

The distinction is subtle but important. Luxury is no longer about making guests feel fortunate enough to enter an exclusive world; it is about making them feel comfortable enough to explore it. The expert remains essential, but their role has evolved from gatekeeper to guide, transforming the experience though knowledge where sharing passion becomes a bridge.

The most successful luxury brands of the coming decade will be those that retain the discipline, standards and craftsmanship that built their reputations while empowering their people to deliver those qualities with warmth, personality and sincerity. To today’s guest luxury is a conversation not a statement and as industry we need to willing to take part.

Reprinted from the Hotel Business Review with permission from www.HotelExecutive.com.